I really wish I could say that just in the goal-achieving sense – that I’m hungry for a great performance in my Boaton qualifying marathon. But honestly, I’m just hungry.
When I told my wife yesterday that I wasn’t hungry, I was subtracting out of my personal assessment, the constant psychological murmur that never rests; ‘Hey! Let’s eat!’. If I don’t do that deduction, I would have said, ‘I’m hungry’ despite my stomach actually feeling satiated – not full but certainly not empty.
I just like to eat.
She rolled her eyes and reminded me of that state I came to almost four years ago where, after a week or two of dieting, my appetite vanished. I ate until I was full, which was surprisingly about half of what volume I used to cram down. I just didn’t feel like eating anymore. When she brought that up, I remembered it with fondness.
That’s where I want to be.
But I also remember getting there. I had to be hungry and let myself stay hungry. I wouldn’t allow myself to do anything about it – just be hungry.
I don’t like being hungry. It’s not comfortable when my stomach, like my cat, yowls at me! But it will get better and my appetite will adjust accordingly.
It’s a good place to be when your hungry. It means your body is searching for fuel and, if you’re like me at all – there is plenty of fuel to be had.