A surprising lesson from a Facebook purge.
I run a group to help people who always said they wanted to run, run. The program is called “Destination YOU!“, it is a couch-to-5k (C25k) program and it can be done either in person, or virtually; wherever you are in the world.
Recently, I noticed that I had over 50 members to the group on the Facebook page, but only three to five people were showing up and only two were actually participating virtually. As I went through the members, trying to remember who was who, how I knew them, who they were friends with, I kept coming across people that recently joined but whom I had never seen at the group or online in any way, shape, or form.
Any of you who have done something like this will not be surprised that some of the folks I ended up kicking had gotten in under false-pretenses and tried selling things. Others just seemed to get in and plop themselves down to promptly do nothing, whatsoever. However, there were some on my list who I knew had some vested interest in joining. I had invited them personally and they took me up on it so far as to take the action of requesting to be part of the group; and then? Well, then they just disappeared – their digital spot secure they were likewise never heard from again. Maybe worst of all, I noticed that several members had been added by other members who were family, and neither one of them had lifted a finger to introduce themselves, introduce the family member, comment on any workouts, or show up at all. To reiterate – someone joined and thought the program was such a good idea, they invited their dad or mom, sister, cousin or whatever and those invitees never did anything. They sat there waiting for the program to somehow magically do something for them. The real crime here is that someone who thought the program was good enough for someone else, couldn’t be bothered to participate..themselves.
For fucks sake people – recommending something even YOU won’t try to someone you think needs it, is the biggest act of fraud you could ever commit. You want to convince someone? How about shutting up and doing? Actions will always speak louder than words and NOTHING gets the attention of someone who needs it more than seeing someone they love, do something and accomplish something that they had to work hard for and to which they had to commit.
Being the person that loses the weight, quits making excuses and gets fit is the biggest motivation you could ever give to those you love.
And one last thing. To all of those I kicked out of the group today, I have to imagine that they had these intentions to someday participate. The ones that joined or asked to join did it for a reason, but so long as their action cost them nothing, they were happy to pretend that they would actually do something substantive someday. Instead – #bookmarked – they’ll get to it later! But when? When were they going to get off their butts and actually do something? Tomorrow? Are they really convinced that tomorrow they’re going to get after it? They’ll just have one more chocolate-covered almond, but then that’s it – no more! They’ll just have a #3 with curly fries once a week..today, like right now.. but no more! They’re tired, it has really been a tough day and they don’t have the energy to go do a workout – they’ll just work extra hard tomorrow!
Tomorrow never comes.
It gets easier to put off tomorrow what we put of today.. and on and on. We make some half-hearted effort to join a group, this little half-measure, dipping our toes in the water, dressed out and ready but.. but.. we find a reason to get distracted, make an excuse, shrug our shoulders and wait until we catch the next whiff of motivation.
But joining a fitness group won’t make us fit. If someone wants to participate, someday.. just not today? Then they can find another fitness group. I’m not here to build numbers, I’m here to help people realize their potential, to selfishly get motivated by seeing someone kick butt and stop making excuses, I’m here to find the hero in all of you, to learn from you and cheer you on.
If you aren’t going to act, then please do me the favor of leaving the group. Thank you.