Can you see me wagging my finger? Don’t worry! I’m wagging my finger at myself too.
The things we constantly do, or practice, are the things we’re going to get good at. Let me say that again, quoted and in italics..
The things we constantly do, or practice, are the things we’re going to get good at.
Why should this be a phrase of any emphasis? Well, ask yourself, what are things or habits that I have in my life? What are some things that I do that hold me back?
For me, it’s negativity, making excuses, letting fear dictate my next step. I practice these things a lot. I have a pretty shitty inner-dialogue or self-narration. One specific thing that I’ve been working through was born when I got fired from a job that should have been easy – the lie I told myself and, quite frankly, still lives is, “I’m so stupid, I’m basically unemployable!”. OUCH!
But once I had that thought, it seemed like every time I messed up, got anxious and let myself get overwhelmed with something, that thought would pop into my head. “I’m worthless, I’m lazy, I’m unemployable”.
I practice it a lot.
And I got good at that. So good, in fact, that it comes automatically. I’m SO good at negative self-talk, that it happens all the time, automatically, right in front of pretty much everyone I meet or talk to. The resulting discomfort only affirms the lie I’m telling myself.
I’m very good at it. I practice it all the time.
What to do? Well, I need to start sticking up for myself. Runt that I may be for having beaten myself up so thoroughly and for so long, I have to push back. I can find things in myself that I like, admire, and that I consider to be good qualities. I can be thankful for that. I can hug myself – literally and figuratively, and tell myself quietly that it’s going to be ok, or ‘you can do this’. I can stand up for myself – ‘you are not an idiot!’.
‘I am not an idiot’.
‘I’m not a loser or bad person’.
‘I’m very employable – you would be lucky to have me!’