My life is actually pretty awesome. I don’t always feel that way, but when I stop and really think about it, I realize that I have so much to be grateful for. I’ve always had a sense that I was going to do great things and, I don’t think I’m alone in this. As I get older, the idea that I’m going to be remarkable, in any specific and tangible way, grows more and more distant; ever more remote. It might even be a kind of hubris, but entirely human all the same.
“We all think we’re going to be great. And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met.” Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
I want to say real quick too, that I actually like myself. At least, most of the time, even when I mess up, I’m learning to laugh at myself and not take things so seriously.. not all the time, anyway. What I’m trying to say here is that I can say nice things about myself without thinking too hard about it – and for some people, that’s a big accomplishment.
I’m not perfect. I haven’t reached some special state that has elevated me above the masses. I’m not really all that special, after all. I’m just a guy who has some ‘yes’s’ under his belt. And, at the same time, I’m just a guy who still hasn’t let go of all the NO’s!
There are a lot of NO’s.
My big think is that I’m afraid. I’m afraid to interview with ‘important people’ so I say no. I’m afraid to climb out on that rock with my friends, so I say no. I’m afraid to apply for that job because I don’t think they’ll take me seriously, so I say no. I’m afraid to sign up for that race because I’ve never run that far, so I say no. I’m afraid of working out that hard so I can get to Boston, no.
So I was going to write this blog about all the NO’s, and sure, they exist BUT.. I’m not really feeling the “No’s” right now. I can think of yes’s for every no, right now. Right now I know that the road to greatness is mundane, persistent and consistent action; never giving up, letting go of the things that are hurting you, and being your own champion.
If I DID want to wallow in my miseries, then I’m sure I could look back and see a series of fear-laden “No’s”. No to myself, no to offers and invitations from others, no to flights of fancy that weren’t so flighty after all.