There have been times..

There have been times where I argued with myself about whether I really loved running.

There have been times where I could not convince myself that it was love, in the same way that soaking in a hot tub was love for an activity, or getting a massage, or sex.  I do not love running like I love any of those things.

There was a time recently where I didn’t want to run anymore.

I was done – that time.

But I’m learning and my understanding is growing and I’m realizing that  what I miss most about running is the thing I hate most about running – I miss being able to suffer and then, as pertains to life, to lean.. in.

I miss being at the boundary – the frontier of my abilities – that crystalline edge of possibility.

I miss getting another chance to not feel sorry for myself but instead, trying again.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s