When I don’t have time

I want to do amazing things, when I don’t have time.  Planning.  Tomorrow.  Later. Future-tense.  I will get this cleaned up, weed-whack the yard, wake up early and run. I’ll finish making the brochures, design a booklet, work on a project, search for caterers.  

Starting next week, I’m off carbs!  Going to sit down and write up a schedule for home-gym workouts.   It’s going to be life-changing. It will be amazing. 

Someday, I’ll call the library and see about reading to little kids. That would be fun. I’ll raise money to fight cancer. 

But right now, I’m at work and I don’t have time.   Worse, I won’t feel like doing anything when I do have time.  I’ll buffer with alcohol, entertainment, food.. anything to while away the hours so I can go to sleep too late, dehydrated.  

Still dreaming about what I will do, tomorrow. 


Slashing our tires

We all fail.

Everyone single one of us can make a strong case of our failures, I imagine.  I know I can. But I don’t.

I refuse.

What is most important about failure is NOT what you did to get there but what you do next.   Understanding how you got there is important, sure! but you are now at a cross-roads; will you throw in the towel and walk away or will you try again?   How many times will you keep trying before you finally give up?

Will you ever give up?

Imagine getting a flat while you’re out and about doing errands.   Inconvenient? Annoying? Does it fill you with frustration?   Sure, of course.   While maybe not the worst thing, it’s certainly nowhere near the ideal situation, right?

But what do you do next?

Most of us, believe it or not, will go to the remaining three tires and puncture those as well. Three perfectly good tires, still usable, we slash.   Slashing our tires in a fury or because we give up on hope.   We failed and label ourselves failures.

So you failed.   So you have a flat.   Don’t make it worse.    Make a good decision here.

Make a smart decision with what you do next.   I believe you are going to be absolutely amazing.. just don’t give up.



When I first started losing weight, the last weight I came in at was 207.   I wasn’t weighing myself everyday, but the heaviest I had gotten was around 230; waist size 36 and pushing 38’s.. YIKES!

My employer offers free health screenings once a year and I decided to take advantage of it.   They took my blood, did some steps and at some point, I stepped on the scale; one of those fancy ones you have to be barefoot for – so they can send electric signals through your body and determine your body composition.   But then it happened.. I looked down and the scale read 199.   I swear I almost cried.   I hadn’t been trying all that hard and for the first time in a very long time, I was under 200.

I was pretty hard-core Paleo but it didn’t feel difficult since I was told (I read) that I could eat ANYTHING I wanted ANYTIME I wanted so long as I stayed away from grains, legumes, peanuts, dairy and processed foods.   Meat was on the menu.. vegetables.. fruit.. nuts.. seeds.. EAT EAT EAT.   And EAT I did.   I ate ALL day, whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted and I.. was.. still.. hungry.   RAWR!

Still though, to be completely fair and in the interest of full-disclosure; I didn’t cut beer or alcohol and I still consumed coffee with sugar.   Regardless, after around 35 lbs, I leveled off at ~175.   I just couldn’t seem to reach my goal of 165.   I kept trying but nothing was working.. I was stuck at ~175 and finally concluded, ‘Hey, 175 is great!.. Good job!’.   

After probably nine or ten months, I finally cut coffee.. and more importantly, sugar.   I went with Tea and honey for my breakfast drink and had been having a bowl of oatmeal (grains, I know) for breakfast over the past several months.   My running mileage has been creeping up – long runs of 22 miles and my weekly mileage is still around 40 miles/week.   I’ve been lifting and still doing Yoga at least once a week.   All that said.. today…?

I weighed in at 165 for the first time since.. high school?   Crazy.   

Now my weight fluctuates quite a bit.   Sunday after the race, the many beers at Old Chicago watching football and quite a bit of ‘bad’ food (pizza).. I weighed in at 180.   Today, just three days later, I’m 165.   

Don’t tell my wife!

9.5.13 UPDATE

The marathon training plan I was on ends this Saturday.. without me.   This Saturday I’m supposed to run the full 26.2 miles, intended to coincide with an actual marathon, but I would just be out there, on my own.   That doesn’t seem like a good idea to me and reason is going to win over that macho voice in my head that says, “Oh c’mon, pull your panties up and get out there!”.

Instead, I’ll be joining a local group on their long run Saturdays and one evening run during the week.

In DIET news, I’ve started eating grains again..again.  Oatmeal in the morning with raisins, a little sugar and some cream, Cliff bars, which I love, and the occasional sandwich or pizza. This seems to have had a negative effect on me, despite my hopes that the grains might be ok for me.   Gassy, bloated, flabbier, diarrhea and irregular.

Just what am I looking for, anyway?   What do I want?  What are my goals?   I keep reading these testimonials about how this kind of eating or avoiding this kind of food completely helped other people to have boundless energy.   I lost a bunch of weight on Paleo fairly quickly but I never had the energy that others reported.  My eating habits are usually to graze all day at work with a ziploc bag of almonds, raisins, cashews, chocolate bits and sometimes peanuts, an apple and a Cliff bar.   Two cups of coffee and as much water as I can take in; usually 2-3 Liters.

Sleeping?   Hell, I’m tired all the time.   I sleep from between 8-9pm and wake up around 3:30am every workday so that might be a clue right there.   I usually take a nap of about a half-hour to an hour around 2:30-3pm every work day.

I run between 35-40 miles a week in addition to biking to/from work (3 miles/each way) and yoga 2 times a week.

Physical condition is run-down.   I have two bad shoulders from old dislocations years ago that become pretty painful on long runs, Osgood-Schlatter disease on my left knee which barely registers or bothers me and I currently have a hernia which has stayed quiet and out of the way so far.   I have some kind of tendonitis in my left elbow (inside-elbow) that makes lifting things a certain way quite painful but also barely registers on my runs.

Oh, and my teeth are horrid; I sometimes wonder if I’m sapping my bodies defenses by all the crap going on in my mouth?   Dentists are painful and too god-damned expensive; Even with state insurance.  I’ll need to plan a trip to Mexico soon to get it taken care of at a reasonable rate.

My heart-rate get’s too damned high with too little exertion, I’m heavily water-dependent and can easily and quickly sweat buckets.

I’m pretty sure that’s everything.   Good start to sitting down and planning out actions to take on these different issues.   Some of them are already in the works.

Any advice or information you might have are welcome as well.   Thanks much and looking forward to hearing from you:)

Oh My Heart….

ImageOh My Heart…


My 42nd Birthday was 10 days ago.   I’ve been running for a little over a year now consistently, have kept the weight off and haven’t had a smoke since 7.10.12; doing pretty good, right?

Well,  yah.   But…

One of the gifts my wife got me for my birthday was a Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor.   I was naturally ecstatic and eager to start training my heart; eager to find out where my heart rate lined up in the first place.   So, off I went on my first run; the gear tuned in to my body, my age and my targets.

115 – 151 BPM = “In the Zone”

Didn’t take me too long to go out of “the Zone” and was forced to slow down to slow my heart rate down to a point somewhere below 151 BPM.   I was almost walking.

See, if I understand all of this correctly, a healthy runner’s heart will stay below 151 BPM while maintaining a pace of 7min/mile.  At least, I would be happy with that.   I was struggling to stay under 151 BPM while running a 10:30min/mile pace.. YECH!

Now I can and have run 7:22 pace in 5ks and had no clue what my BPM was (probably dangerously high).   I’ve trained all summer under the hot Arizona Sun after an entire running season of visible improvement – so I definitely had expectations that I would have a decent or even slightly below average BPM for my age, height and weight.   That my pace would be even a 9:30 – would have been somewhat disappointing but still acceptable somehow.

But I can barely run and still stay below my upper threshold of 151.   It feels like I’m starting over and would be kind of sad if it weren’t for..

– running in the sun/heat will spike your heart-rate.   I’m not getting a good picture of my heart-rate health by running mid-afternoon under a cloudless sky.

– I AM still a new runner, ex-smoker of 20 years and fairly sedentary for all of them; don’t be so hard on myself, be patient.. make progress.

– I have an opportunity now to train much more safely and effectively, getting the most out of my workouts without putting myself at increased risk.

– I have a new bio-feedback goal to work toward that is foundational to all of my other running goals.

My heart isn’t where I wish is were, but it’s good to know that instead of just guessing or taking it on faith that everything is ok.   Pretty encouraging actually and with that, I have to get ready for my long run tomorrow and get to bed.

Take care all and when you don’t have the motivation to run, run anyway!

Update: 7.22

Smoke free now for what?  12 days?  yep.. since July 10th.  I haven’t had any serious cravings since the time right before I quit.  Back then, when I was down to 2 and then 1 smoke/day, I would get some pretty serious cravings throughout the day as I was trying to budget my small allowance.   There are noticeable gaps in my day, though.  Those times where I normally would be puffing away on the front porch – now there’s this gap and I need to start filling it.

My weight is still stuck around 189.  I have seen it go as low as 187 (close to my first goal of 185.. so close).   I may be stuck because of my BMI more than anything.  I still do have a pudge around mah belly and that’s gotta go.   Hopefully with the core exercises and other poses/exercises I’m getting in Yoga will stamp that out.

Last of all, I bought some running shoes and started a ‘Couch – 5k’ program on my iPhone app (Cyclometer).  I just finished my second week.   So, for those of you who haven’t used these programs before, mine starts me with a 5 min warm-up walk, then the first week was  8 x (1:30 walk, 1:00 run), and then a 5 min cooldown.   Week two was the warm-up and then 7 x (1:30 walk, 1:30 run) with cooldown, and so on.  Having not run for 20+ years, it’s still not as easy as I remember, but then again, I’m not sure it’s supposed to be easy.

It’s challenging.  I have to push myself.   Pick up my pace for a leg or two.   Push myself.   Look for my stride and my breathing.   It really is difficult.. but there’s something about it.   There always was something so rewarding to running.  You put yourself through some pain and distress, real difficulties you aren’t used to – and it can hurt.  You body starts screaming to stop.   You focus slips.. you pull it back.   Eyes forward and it’s difficult to breath; in – nose, out – mouth.. instead, your breath just comes in and out of your mouth, gasping.  Focus.  And I keep waiting for my app to tell me it’s time to walk again.  Now?   How ’bout now?  NOW?     Focus.

And so it goes.   I stick to it and ignore my bodies pleas to just stop until it’s time to stop.  And it feels good.   It feels really good because of the accomplishment.  Triumph over adversity.   And that’s why I like it.

Thanks for reading and if you have any good workout music to recommend – shoot me a pm or post it here.  

Thanks and Tschüss!

Ah, Monday AM

It is 4:11am and getting ready for my ride into work. Still not feeling quite right after the oriental salad with its super-sweet dressing on Sun.   While Sat I was bursting with energy, since that sugary mess, my stomach felt like there was a rock in there and have been feeling lethargic.
I cooked a ton of stuff yesterday; dinner for tonight, Trail Mix and Protein Bars for Snacks and Salmon for Lunch – I’m not feeling too hungry.
Down to 12 smokes/day.
First yoga class tonight – nervous and excited.
Just an update; I better get going!